Why people have affairs?
Speak about a loaded issue that no one wants to talk about, this is it. Funny thing, married dating have been going on from the beginning of the world. Extramarital relationships can be filled with evils, cause heartache, and other troubles. Plus you should wrap your maind around all the other issues, there’s that truth and frankness matter, finances, age dissimilarity, faith education, remorse, and on and on. I expect there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the intention of this post I will identify an affair as a long term, maybe months long relationship of a sexual nature between two individuals of whom one or both are married to other wives/husbands, dating for married.
Why do people have affairs? There are as many answers as there are seek affairs. I suppose mostly though it is only the human state, the need for love, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and appreciated. Here are a few explanations I have run across.
In nature we as humans are all sexual creatures. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasant and fun, and sex makes us flee the world for a brief period of time. This excitement exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels high enough. Somebody are able to turn the desire on and off, some are good at controlling it and others are so-so at best. Though we all have it, young and mature, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the exhilaration of the pursue. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the love for another individual, for some it is the longing to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the entire romance thing. These needs and yearnings can be so strong they prevail over the taboos culture has erected against affairs. For many individuals the yearnings will defeat their doubts and make them risk the fury of not only their relatives, but society also. So why, what is the catalyst?
Sex Addicts, probably some of us are. Sex is very pleasant, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of biologically obsessed sex addicts and can find away to have an affair and not harm your family or anybody else? You will need to minimize the jeopardy you are taking. If you have the attitude that a good affair is one that is advantageous to everybody, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I suppose this is the major group, gigantic truly. There are many couples whose marital relationships is over, apart from they feel happy in the way they live, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your spouse but there is no romance. Then there are the children to look after. Your money are so tangled. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to live jointly besides love and sex.
Physical reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical reasons that prevent them implementing the sex performance, at least not with their spouse. An affair occasionally solves the problem while keeping the marriage whole.
Avoidance, sorrowfully this is a regular reason I fear. One or the other, as a rule the husband is sexually neglecting his woman for a tones of reasons. As a male I actually appreciate you guys neglecting your wives and making them accessible to us guys of romance, making them “lonely wives” But I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Also there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not just neglectful, but evil.
Something is just omitted in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Probably its romance that is missing, maybe it is a shortage of love, maybe caring is disappeared, could be it is the intimacy, could be neglect. Could be we have simply grown separately, our relulas concerns diverged. Could be it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my ages, is opposed to of what you want. Could be I just do not know what I want from the marriage anymore. Could be, just maybe I miss that emotion that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The first reason people give is, they search for the passion that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to run away, for financial gain, for retribution and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.
Tags: affairs, Dating, dating married people, extramarital affairs, Marriage, married dating, seeking an affair